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Internal Family Systems


Internal Family Systems – IFS

We all have an inner system, an internal operating system, as many IT people who like to call it. Therapists most often call it the personality- the defense mechanisms we have created between the ages of 0 and 7-10 years in order to function in our family and our surroundings. In Internal Family Systems, the personality consists of parts – a number of subpersonalities that we are born with and that control how we behave in everyday life. We know this – most of us, for example, know the inner critic who is part we all contain, or our inner child who contains memories – good and bad – from our childhood.

But we are not our parts – we have them. What we really are is our inner core, our essence, or what Internal Family Systems calls the Self.

The Self cannot be harmed or broken, but it can be pushed into the background if we go through unpleasant experiences. Most of us go through unpleasant experiences – we may not be seen by adults as children, we are bullied or exposed to other things, we lose our boyfriend, our job, our parents when we grow up, etc.

Give yourself peace and better self esteem.

Most of us have learned to push aside the unpleasant traits we find inside and, as far as possible, not have contact with them.

What’s different about IFS and what really works well is that we don’t push any part of ourselves aside. We consider all parts – even the most annoying and transgressive parts of us – as if they have positive intentions and something to teach us, so we invite them in and treat them with curiosity and respect. Along the way, this leads us to integrate all parts of our personality and to make peace with what we have had difficulty accepting in ourselves, and this in turn gives us peace and better self-esteem.

How can IFS help you?

  • You make peace with every part of you – many people have learned to push away the sides of themselves that they don’t like. At IFS, we negotiate with all parts and find solutions so that the parts stop managing your life in inappropriate ways.
  • You learn how to treat each part of yourself with kindness and compassion instead of trying to block out what you do not like in yourself.
  • You get to know yourself and that leads to you being able to make better choices.
  • You heal the vulnerabilities you may have from your upbringing and negotiate a collaboration with your young parts, where it is your Self that controls what happens.
  • You also heal any trauma you may have.
  • You create openness and freedom in your inner emotional and mental system and you get to like yourself.

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Get int touch will all your parts and learn to love yourself fully.